Heading to the Mountains to Ring in 2009

I'll be gone for a couple of days as my partner and I are headed to the hills. We have a special place we like to go every now and then, and we've spent a couple of New Years Eves there. Very quiet (and cold) but we like it. Maybe we'll see some more snow, too.

So Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2009 brings you much love and peace.

Peruvian Shamans Send Good Vibes to Obama--and Michael Jackson

Interesting little tidbit. Seems a group of Peruvian shamans are blessing Obama and others in their regular rituals. The story says the shamans went to the highest point in Lima for the cleansing ritual, which included blessings not only on Obama but also Bolivian President Evo Morales, Cuban President Fidel Castro, among others, including the King of Pop Michael Jackson.

You can watch a video of the actual ritual here.

Of course, I'm intrigued, but upon seeing the video, it all looks a bit staged. But these so-called shamans have done this before. Before the recent U.S. election, they held a ritual to bless both Obama and McCain so that the best candidate would win. At least they're nonpartisan shamans.

But who am I to judge? As long as they're sincere, fine with me. We need all the help we can get! (I'm sure Michael does, too.)

Tennessee Coal Sludge Spill Estimated at More Than a BILLION Gallons!

A BILLION gallons! That's a whole helluva lot of icky, sticky, poisonous goo. Have you heard about this? Maybe I've been sick and out of touch, but I've heard barely a peep about this incident which happened a few days ago near Knoxville, Tennessee. A pond to hold coal ash burst, sending all the goo flowing over hundreds of acres of land. People had to be evacuated and a few homes were destroyed. It's like "The Blob!"

And to think this is the end-result of all that nice, warm, convenient electricity we use. How are they going to clean up this mess? What about the people who lost their homes? What about the environmental impact on the area? No one's talking about this. Instead, we're inundated with reports of people falling overboard from cruise ships, "Barack the Magic Negro" and other piffle. Sorry--those stories may have some merit, but this coal thing affects ALL of us.

And so much for "clean" coal.

Eartha Kitt Will Be Missed!

I'm feeling better now, over my cold, so lot's of catching up to do. I know this is a few days old already, but I have to acknowledge the passing of the one and only Eartha Kitt.

Way before Britney or Madonna, Eartha could do it all: sing, dance and piss people off! But Eartha--oh, just the sound of that name!--had it a bit rougher, being as she was a mixed-race child growing up poor in South Carolina in the early 20th century. I first saw her on the 60s "Batman" TV show where she played Catwoman (pictured below). (Sorry, Halle Berry, but you never had a chance!)

In everything Eartha did, she radiated confidence, sexuality as well as "wink-wink" playfulness that was irresistible. For an example, check out the young Eartha singing "I Want to Be Evil" from 1962.

There's also the classic "Santa Baby" and the so-cheesy-it's-great 80s gay-club hit "Where Is My Man?"

Read more about Eartha here on this bio page, including her controversial comments on the Vietnam War that almost ruined her career and her work in South Africa before it was trendy.

Eartha, if you're listening--thank you for showing us all how it's done!

Riverwolf Is Sick

If you've posted or emailed me in the last couple of days but haven't received a response, I apologize. Seems Santa brought me a cold for Christmas! This bug has been going around my office job, and I think that's where I picked it up. It's pretty rough--I haven't even felt like blogging til today!

Be well and I'll be back in the saddle soon!

A Racial Sit-In at the IHOP?

Ever find yourself in unwanted situations with parents, situations that you try desperately to avoid but nevertheless seem to seek you out? It's as if the Universe has a twisted sense of humor and is conspiring against you. Maybe there's a lesson here ... and maybe my skull is too thick to get it?

I stayed at my father's house overnight, and this morning I decided we should go to a pancake house for breakfast. See, my dad never keeps any food in his house. He is married, however, his wife lives 2 doors down in her deceased mother's house. Long story. Anyway, he usually eats at the other house or goes out. But even when I come to visit, he never has any food.

That's why I travel with my own food! I brought bagels to eat, since I knew I would be lucky to get breakfast. But the previous day at my younger sister's house, I had had a bagel--because she seems to share my father's preference for never planning for houseguests. (I must be adopted!)

Tired of bagels and warmed holiday leftovers, I suggested a pancake house. My dad agreed. He knew his wife liked one particular place, so he called her to ask for directions. It turned out to be just another International House of Pancakes (IHOP). Fine with me. Except here's where the Universe gets cheeky.

We're seated in a section that was enclosed in its own little room. And this truly was an "international" house of pancakes day. At two nearby tables were seated Hispanic families, all speaking Spanish. Another family came in right behind us. A family of Asian ethnicity was also seated nearby. Add to the mix at least four squealing toddlers.

The loud children bother me a tad, but I can deal. My father, however, cannot. But the children were the least of my problem. All you could hear was Spanish--and my dad is not known for his appreciation for diversity. Yes, he's your stereotypical white cracker who wants all non-English speakers shipped back to their home country. He blames immigrants for everything that's wrong in the U.S.

At least there were no African Americans in the room nor any mixed-race couples. (He once walked out of a restaurant because a young black man and white woman were seated next to us.)

He didn't say anything, but I could literally feel the tension coming from him. I tried to ignore it, to "deflect" his energy. I waited for the inevitable outburst. And I wondered why in the hell the Universe was doing this to me. Couldn't we simply enjoy pancakes without an incident? Why did we have to pick the most diverse IHOP in town?

The tipping point came when a large family was seated next to us. "Thank God they're white!" I thought. But, oh no, not that simple. They had a 8- or 9-year-old son with some degree of mental retardation, and the boy kept shouting, "Pancakes! Pancakes!" And when he wasn't bouncing in his seat and fidgeting, he was scribbling frantically on the placemat with a crayon.

I couldn't breathe. And I don't know if it was my own rising stress level, but it seemed the noise in the room was growing louder and louder. I finally let out a big sigh and mentioned the noise to dad. Fortunately, we were almost done eating. I chuckled a bit, trying to break the unbearable tension. Dad chuckled, too, and shook his head. He looked up at me, raised his brow and only said, "I ain't gonna say anything."

At least we had an understanding. I snatched the check and we went to pay--only to reach the cashier and see that the entrance was FULL of people waiting to be seated. You may be thinking, "why is that a problem?" Well, for most people, it wouldn't be. But, gentle reader, everyone waiting happened to be black.

It was as if my dad was cornered! He turned, headed for the door and said, "I'll be outside!"

It didn't end there. I knew he had been uncomfortable, so I tried to play it off with humor. I guess it worked somewhat. But still I had to listen to how the Hispanics (or "Spanians" as he says--WTF?) are taking over the city, taking "our" jobs and so on. And he said he wasn't ever going back to that IHOP again! Not because of the food but only because of who ate there. And he had to tell his wife later (she didn't say very much).

Guess I should've stuck with the damn bagels.

I'm angry and frustrated because my father's world is so small and so full of fears of his own making. But he's 82 and isn't going to change. He knows I feel differently but it doesn't stop him from making insensitive and boneheaded comments. And I have other friends and family who are intolerant and bigoted. Part of me wants to avoid them. Part of me wants to leave this lily-white corner of the planet and move to a much more diverse place. And part of me would love to piss everyone off my shacking up with a black or Hispanic lover!

It makes me ashamed of who I am and where I come from. It makes me want to do whatever I can to fight intolerance and bigotry. But how? My dad isn't going to change. Why do people have to be so ignorant, so fearful, so small-minded? And it's everywhere--in our politics, our churches, workplaces, bookstores, colleges, cities and the Internet.

Sure, I'm happy with how I handled this one little situation, but what good does it really do? If nothing else, thank goodness those people in IHOP were clueless about my dad's hatred; there were all able to enjoy their pancakes. I was not.

Your Holly, Jolly Holiday Distraction!

Show Rick Warren the Love: Send Him Doughnuts for Gay Rights!

I couldn't resist! Some brilliant sister has encouraged anyone fed up with Pastor Rick Warren's "friendship" with gays to make a statement--with doughnuts! You may recall in his recent interview that he bragged about how he has always treated gays with respect, even greeting protesters at his Saddleback Church with water and doughnuts.

Water and doughnuts. How quaint. Don't you know doughnuts pack on the pounds?! See--Warren is trying to ruin our gay muscled physiques! It's a conspiracy!

Well, now we can return the favor. Just purchase a Dunkin' Donuts gift card and send it to our friend, Rick. Be sure to personalize it with a message about gay rights and even upload a pic of you and your partner. It's easy!

My card was polite, since my mama raised me right. It simply said: "Mr. Warren, you have lot to learn about life, love and people. Enjoy the doughnuts." (The site wouldn't let me use the word "queers" in place of "people." More discrimination!)

And I uploaded this sexy pic at left of two guys kissing! That'll work Ricky's nerves!

Sure, it cost $14.92 total--but that's a small price to pay for the opportunity to gently harass someone who greatly deserves it--and much more!

If the above link doesn't work, go directly to Dunkin' Donuts here.

Ridiculous/Brilliant Christmas Gift: Dick of Cards

You got it--dick, not deck. I had never heard of these before until a friend told me he received a di--errrr--deck last year for Christmas. Who thinks up these kind of things? I'm sure there are all kinds of puns for this special gift, but I'll just resist the urge. You can purchase your own deck here.

Ecuador: The New Gay Travel Destination (I'm thinking of moving there myself)

Well, maybe not actually moving to Ecuador (I can hardly get my partner to out of state much less out of country!), but given all the ruckus over Rick Warren leading prayer during Obama's inauguration, it's nice to entertain these daydreams.

Why is Ecuador so great for gays? Back in September, the country's new Constitution guaranteed civil unions and other protections! That's right, this small country on the Pacific coast of South America (home to the Galapagos Islands) has done what the big ol' freedom-loving' U.S. can't seem to accomplish.

But it isn't just words on paper, not for Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa. In the wake of the recent beating death in New York City of Jose Osvaldo Suchuzhanay (a Ecuadorean immigrant), Correa said:

"We will fight together ... to forever uproot these aberrations of certain maladjusted [individuals], uproot them from the face of the earth, from humanity: Xenophobia, homophobia and all kinds of discrimination, all kinds of violence."

(Suchuzhanay, incidentally, was not gay but his American attackers apparently mistook he and his brother for a gay couple.)

Imagine an American president saying similar words. Yeah, we'll just have to imagine (are you listening, Obama?) because our present government can't even sign the recent United Nations Gay Rights Resolution.

So Ecuador is looking better and better. And if I were this woman below, I'd be kissing Correa, too!

Want to Change the World? Join the Global Orgasm!

Some have a theory that we can change the world in one relatively simple way. If enough people experience an orgasm within the same time frame while projecting a conscious intention for peace and harmony, a surge of physical and spiritual positivity will infuse our planet's energy field and bring about positive change.

Check out the Global Orgasm site here.

Someone's even taking measurements of our global consciousness to see if it works!

So, come on, do your part!

Merry Yule, Y'all!

I particularly enjoy this holiday (Yule, winter solstice or, my preference, Alban Arthan, which is Welsh for "light of winter"). Maybe it's the themes of light and darkness or maybe just the seasonal extreme from summer.

Since my partner and I are headed out of town today (the actual solstice), we had a simple ritual last night. That's right--"we"--he actually joined in again! I'm finding more and more that if I don't get defensive about his perceptions or worry too much about what he thinks, we both still enjoy the moment and connect.

Which ties into the theme of Alban Arthan: renewal.

We began by turning off all the lights in the house except for one lit candle on a table. I said a few words about renewal and the promise of the returning light. Then I honored the 4 directions "that power and radiance might enter our lives for the good of all beings." I like that phrase.

I asked for peace in each direction, lit one candle each and placed a quartz crystal next to each candle. Don't know why, it just felt right. Then I asked for peace across our entire world. We had a moment of silence and then I read this short piece I found online, which touched on renewal:

"Snow and ice have cooled our minds,
Cold winds have blown away our fertile thoughts,
Silent nights have stilled our tongues.
Like the bear, the fox and the toad,
Our creativity hibernates without the warmth of the sun.
Come to us now, inspiration, as the sun returns!
As the sun grows in strength,
So may the fire in our hearts!"

Next, we each talked about areas of our lives where we'd like to see some renewal or where we looked forward to a promise. My partner was concerned for his mother's health and his job situation. Me, I wished for renewed motivation in general. I also mentioned that I hoped for continued renewal in our relationship with one another.

Next I read something called the "Hymn of Promise," which I found in an old church bulletin. We took turns reading verses. It's a bit long for here, but essentially it describes things like winter, silence and death as opportunities for hidden things to emerge. And the last line goes:

"...unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see."

We had one last moment of silence and, in a nod to the returning sunlight, we went around the house turning on all the lights, the Christmas tree and other decorations, and the Christmas music.

Then we had some egg nog!

God Silent on Polygamy: It's In the Bible!

I'm so over Christians such as Rick Warren being so smug about their historical "knowledge" of marriage. In defending his opposition to gay marriage, he added this (from Wayne Besen): "I'm opposed to having one guy having multiple wives and calling that marriage."

Personally, I don't care if you have multiple wives or husbands. My beef is his ignorance of the Bible's relative silence on polygamy. Christians like Warren aren't giving you the entire story. His recent interview with NBC's Ann Curry was full of historical ignorance (watch here, about 1 minute into the video).

There are instances of polygamy in the Bible--and God is either silent on the issue or oddly complicit in the unions. But today's Christians act just horrified over such an arrangement and yet Jehovah himself seemed not to mind so much. He was so nonchalant, in fact, that the very founders of Israel were polygamists! More on that in a sec.

Sure, in the New Testament there's something about holy men of God having one wife. Fine. But what happened? Did God change his mind. Isn't sin ALWAYS sin? Does God make exceptions, and isn't that a slippery slope? I thought God never changed and moral truths were absolute!

So, on polygamy and even--gasp!--incest, riddle me this:

If God did create Adam and Eve, then their sons and daughters had sex with each other, plain and simple. And for whatever reason, God offers no comment. If you have some righteous explanation for why this was ok, I'd like to hear it.

And how were these folks married? Were there priests or justices of the peace? By what law were they married? There is a strange mention of a "Land of Nod" where Adam's son Cain apparently went to live and found a wife! Ok, who was she? I mean, if Adam and Eve were the only people, she still had to be a daughter of Adam and Cain's sister. Unless, of course, there were other people around--but then that screws the whole Christian story of Adam and Eve siring the entire human race.

Just a few chapters later in Genesis 4, Cain's descendant Lamech is the first recorded man to take 2 wives--and God offers no comment! Nothing. No retribution, no preaching, nothing.

Two chapters afterwards, there's the strange passage about the "Nephilim" (whatever they are) and the "sons of God" having sex with "the daughters of men." Some say these were angels or demons--seriously. But regardless of what you believe or whether this even happened--God says nothing. In fact, what is said is that these offspring were "heroes and men of reknown." Impressive. Sounds like God blessed them, right?

Then we have Noah's grandchildren, after the flood receeded. Since everyone died in the flood, Those grandchildren (cousins) were having sex with each other! So God essentially created a situation where first cousins had no choice but to have sex with each other. I guess God was ok with it. And who married them? Noah? God? According to the Bible, there wasn't any synagogue, church, or justice of the peace. Was it legal in the "state of Noah?"

A bit later we have Abraham, patriarch of Israel (and some say, Islam). His grandson Jacob sired the 12 tribes of Israel. Jacob also had 2 wives, Leah and Rebekah--and God said nothing! In fact, both families were ecstatic about it because they were all related! It's a polygamy family party!

But that's not all. At various times, neither wife could get pregnant, so they would give Jacob their female servants to sleep with, since it seems those children were considered children of the master. Nice. Which means that 6 tribes of the "holy" nation of Israel were sired by bastard children. And God? No comment!

Hmmm, I think following such wanton people of questionable morals wouldn't be the "Christian" thing to do--don't you?

Marriage is and always has been redefined by various people. Which is fine. Each culture sets its own rules. But Christians are full of hypocrisy, and they defend positions that their own God seems not all that worried about.

Holly, Jolly Holiday Post of the Day: Your Favorite Christmas Memory

While posting on my favorite Christmas gifts, I began recalling other special holiday memories. Here are a few that stand out:

1. I heard Santa! That's right--I was very young, and my mom was trying to get me to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. Mom was in the room, and I was wide awake in bed. I swear I heard something thump up on the roof--like a sleigh pulled by reindeer landing with Old Saint Nick! I asked, "Is that Santa?" Ever the sly one, my mom answered, "Yes! And you'd better get to sleep or he won't leave any presents!"

2. Hamsters, carols and lights, oh my! I loved playing Christmas music on our gigantic record player/television console. The sleeve of one record I had folded out into this beautiful pop-up manger scene, complete with angels, shepherds and the baby Jesus. It was one of my favorite things until it began to fall apart from all the years of constant folding and unfolding. Anyway, I would play the record ("What Child Is This?" was a favorite song) while sitting in the big easy chair next to the Christmas tree (my mom always used multi-colored lights). One year I had a hamster (forget its name) that I would carry around the house on my shoulder. He was docile and friendly, and I just remember sitting in that chair, with the music and lights on, letting my hamster run all over me and the chair. Perfectly content.

3. Trucks, gingerbread and hungry kitty cats! Years later and living on my own, it was Christmas Eve. My sweet kitty that passed away earlier this year was only 6 years old. I decided that year to make a gingerbread house to take with me to my family's house to share. But then my old Toyota Corolla died on me. Wouldn't start. Nada. I needed a car to get home, so I was able to buy a brand-new Tacoma pick-up (the dealership was trying to clear the lot for the end of the year, so I got a great deal). At some point between getting the truck and baking the gingerbread, I went to my apartment to find that my cat had eaten Christmas ribbon--and shit all over the place!

Wonderful. Except, I didn't know she had eaten ribbon. I feared the worst! So I had to rush the cat to the emergency vet and leave her for a couple of days because I was going out of town and couldn't leave her alone not knowing her condition (goodbye Christmas bonus!). And because of all the hullabaloo, my gingerbread burnt! Darn cat. But in the end, all turned out well. The truck was fun to drive, the cat lived--and the next year, I made a fantastic gingerbread house.

What are your favorite holiday memories?

Rick Warren to Lead Prayer at Inauguration: For the Record, I Don't Care

So evangelical superstar Rick Warren is Obama's pick to lead the invocation during the Inauguration. Big deal. What did you expect? Rev. Jeremiah Wright? A pagan priestess? No prayer at all? Obama was elected president of the entire country, not just a small minority of gays, liberals or whomever. Like it or not, American is still a majority Christian country, and so the presidents needs to pick someone who will appeal to the widest audience possible. I don't have to like Rev. Warren in order to understand the relative wisdom of his selection.

What bothers me more are headlines saying, "Gay Leaders Furious With Obama" because he picked Warren, who openly supported Prop 8 in California. Sorry, but shocked I am not. What mainstream Christian pastor out there supports gay marriage? My former pastor does, but then, he ain't in the mainstream, trust me. This is a country in which the Episcopal church, generally known to be "liberal" in Christian circles, is splitting over gay issues.

But these "gay leaders": They don't speak for me. They totally dropped the ball on Prop 8 and the response that followed, urging us all to cool our heels and work with the system. Obama never was our Savior and never will be, so I don't look to him to heal all my wounds. Obama IS now the system--get it? We need to stop looking to politicians and take care of ourselves.

Besides, how important is this anyway?

Santa Wears a Speedo?

Ok, technically you can't see the Speedo on this guy here, but I liked the pic anyway. Boston held its annual Santa Speedo Run over the weekend. It's a fun (albeit cold) time for charity. And a lot of the guys (and gals) fill out their Speedos quite nicely!

I can't imagine something like this happening near me. Participants would probably be rounded up and sent to jail or an asylum! Ah well...

Here to more Christmas bacchanalia! See more pics at Boston.com or via BosGuy.

More Room to Roam!

I've been bitchin' about all the condos and other development near the Grove, but finally--some good news! The county is purchasing 2 tracts of undeveloped open space for preservation! Two prominent local families donated the adjoining tracts, which total up to more than 400 acres. It will help protect area lakes and eventually connect the Grove to a new state park now being established.

I can't wait to go exploring!

Musical Toilet Paper and Other Horrible Christmas Novelties and Gifts

We've all seen them, those ridiculous Christmas novelties that appear this time of year. Normal, everyday objects are Santa-fied and bedecked with a holiday motif as a lure to get gullible shoppers to part with their cash. These gifts can be lots of fun--until the joke's on you!

Then there are those just plain awful gifts you receive from your loved ones. "Really, you SHOULDN'T have." I'll get to that shortly.

My friend Rebecca told me about how she and all her siblings and their families were home for Christmas one year. Someone had bought their parents a little device that you slip into the toilet paper roll which plays Christmas carols each time it's used. "Jingle" while you tinkle, anyone? She said it was cute for a while--and then the unthinkable happened. Several of them caught a stomach bug, which meant frequent and prolonged trips to the bathroom! It was bad enough to be sick, but then they had to hear "Jingle Bells" over and over again, alerting everyone in the house that, yes, they were back on the toilet again. Nice.

The Worst Christmas Gift I've Ever Received
Sure, I know it's the thought that allegedly counts, but I sometimes think it's better to receive no gift at all than to have to endure the painful attempt to thank someone for those unexpected and random gifts you'll never, ever use.

For example, several years ago my family was opening presents on Christmas Day when one of my sisters handed me a gift bag. Her gifts have never been extravagant, but she always seemed to find something useful or thoughtful. I think she created a new category that year, one called "hideous." So I pull out the colored tissue paper and then reach inside. I wish I had a photo of this thing.

Technically, it was a pen/pencil holder--but elevated to aesthetic heights heretofore unimagined. Someone had taken a perfectly good piece of wood, stripped off the real bark, polished it all up and then drilled several holes in it for pens and pencils. That would've been ok. But no. Then they wrapped it in fake, papery "bark" so that it now sort of resembled the real tree it once was. Then a sky blue ribbon with little cutesy flowers was glued on. Then a bow of the same fabric was also glued on--separately. The manufacturer couldn't even tie a real bow!

As I beheld this wonder, wondering what I was going to do with it and how to stifle my shock and disbelief, my sister said, "I thought you could put it in your office!" Not on your life, sweetie. Like it or not, how you accessorize your desk says a lot about you to your co-workers. It was still early in my publishing career, and I really didn't want the reputation as the resident Holly Hobbie Craft Queen.

So I fumbled my way through the forced "thank you," and that abomination was relegated to the work shed. Ever practical, my partner found a use for the gift after all! I tore off the ribbon and bow and the fake bark, leaving a relatively respectable and perfectly handy Screwdriver Holder! So, thanks sis, but I will forever be suspicious of your gift-buying skills!

What was the worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Krampus Is Coming to Town!

Nothing says holiday cheer like a drunk guy in a goat mask scaring your children! At least, that's what some Europeans like to do this time of year. Supposedly an incubus who pals around with Santa, Krampus likes to frighten children and rattle rusty chains and bells. Imagine that while Santa is leaving presents under the tree, Krampus is raiding the liquor cabinet.

This sounds a bit like Halloween and Christmas all at once (fun!). People dress up like a devil/goat creature, and parents let them scare the children. Then they invite the Krampus inside, and everyone drinks. Excellent--no presents involved! In some cases, there's even a little light beating administered, which all involved seem to enjoy. Here's one guy's account of witnessing Krampus in Austria.

Those wacky Europeans. They have all the fun while us Yanks continue to suffer from a legacy of Puritan guilt! But maybe not for much longer. Krampus is making its way to the U.S.! Naturally, San Francisco is leading the way in a return to more gleeful pagan celebrations.

Something's In the Creek--and It's ALIVE!

This morning I was on my walk and stopped on the foot bridge that crosses over the main creek that feeds the lake. I'm standing there, enjoying the morning, and gazing down at the creek. I like to do this, to feel the water's energy, or if nothing else acknowledge its presence, its importance in all our lives. Besides, I can't take a swim in 30-degree weather!

When I start to walk away, something in the creek moves--something big! All I see is a splash and rippling water. Ok, it was probably just a large fish thrashing about, but I don't think I've ever seen any fish there before. Then another splash! Again, I couldn't see anything, no fins, nothing. Something was under the water for sure and splashing about. I've seen turtles, snakes, ducks and other water fowl, but nothing that behaved in this way.

Was it the Creature From the Black Lagoon?

A frisky water nymph?

Or Fluke Man from the "X-Files?!" (Thanks to Witches & Scientists for that reminder.)

Costco Has Bad Mojo

Or is it just me? If there's a Costco store near you, do you shop there, and if you do, does it take over your soul and turn you into a raving lunatic?

My partner and I recently purchased a membership, and the store has some great prices--if you need a 50-gallon drum of lotion. Hey--I have dry skin!

But every time I go inside that place, I emerge ready to kill someone, plain and simple. If you've been to Costco, perhaps you understand. If not, let me paint the picture. Hordes of people pushing carts who amble along apparently dazzled into a stupor by the rows of stuff in giant boxes. People not looking where they are going, surrounded by 10-15 of their children who dart back and forth into your path. People who stop in the middle of the aisle for no other reason except perhaps to ask, "What is this place?" Others who flock to the end-cap food demo stations, grabbing for the morsels in the tiny, white paper cups, as if they haven't had a meal all day. Then they stand there, thoughtfully chewing and savoring that little bit of food as if they're some judge on "Iron Chef!"

And all I want is my damn laundry detergent! Get me out of here!

No one says excuse me. No one disciplines their children. No one seems to even see you. Maybe it's the ambiance, or lack of it. Honestly, what can I expect from what is basically a warehouse? People don't go to Costco to splurge or buy their dream gift. It's all about saving as much money as possible. It's all about insecurity, the fear of not having enough, the fear of running out of what you need.

Again, maybe it's me. Either way, Costco is a nexus of bad energy! It's the Hellmouth--run for your lives!

"Battlestar Galactica" Webisodes Begin!

Is it Christmas already?! Today, scifi.com starts a 10-part online series leading up to the premiere of "Battlestar Galactica's" final season, which airs January 16, 2009. Set your Blackberrys and DVRs people!

I just watched the first episode--don't worry, I won't spoil it. But the creators are dragging this out! The webisode is, like, maybe 2-3 minutes total. Over 10 parts, maybe 20-30 minutes in all. So the creators are going to string us fan boys along like cattle until Jan. 16. Ah well, a little punishment is good now and then. Watch here.

I will say, in the episode--someone's got a boyfriend! (I knew it!)

More good news: In 2010, the SciFi Channel will begin airing a new BSG-based series called "Caprica," set 50 years before the current series. So we'll get to see how it all began. Very cool.

Thanks to Joe.My.God and Galacticasitrep for spreading the word!

Iowa and New Jersey Join Gay Marriage Debate

The issue of gay marriage doesn't appear to be fading any time soon!

Iowa justices are hearing a gay marriage case on whether the state's 10-year-old law defining marriage as“only “between a male and female” violates the Iowa Constitution’s guarantees of equal treatment and due process.

And in New Jersey, a state commission has recommended moving beyond civil unions to full marriage for gay couples.

Originally found these over at Dave's Wicked Gay Blog.

On one hand, if us queers keep challenging this in as many states as possible, eventually the conservatives will run out of money to fight us, their churches and foundations will go bankrupt and they'll have to throw in the towel--and we'll win! Not exactly a resounding victory but victory nonetheless.

Santas On the Loose!

I've heard of SantaCon before and would love to find a way to participate. You basically dress up like Ol' Saint Nick, join hundreds of other Santas and race around town dancing, singing, carousing and drinking together. Some bars even waive their cover or provide free drinks for the Santas! And there's no agenda--except fun. FUN! Remember that?

Check here and here to see if Santa is coming to a city near you!

(photo is of a 2005 SantaCon in Portland, OR)

Ridiculous/Brilliant Christmas Gift: The UroClub

My friend Rebecca told me about this gift, the UroClub. I think she said her husband wanted one but she simply refused. Regardless, this is both ridiculous and brilliant. Golfers can pee privately without having to leave the fairway! But if your bladder is really full--how much does that thing hold? Discuss....

Requiem for "Pushing Daisies"

I know, dear, sweet Kristin Chenoweth, it's hard to believe that we will soon be deprived of the fabulosity of you and your wonderful fellow cast members on "Pushing Daisies."

Why? Why is it that ratings for crappy television are through the roof, but a unique, brilliant show like "Pushing Daisies" gets cancelled? It's one of my favorites, and there isn't anything like it. It's a murder mystery and a comedy. It's poignant, funny, romantic and dramatic. The cast is so talented, the sets are beautifully done, and even the camera work, editing and directing can't be matched. And the show's writers have to be among the most clever anywhere on television.

On top of all that, "Daisies" is one of the most family-friendly shows out there right now. If you're a parent and you're worried about sex and violence and old-fashioned family values--your kid should be watching "Pushing Daisies!"

Here's a very brief essay on what makes the show stand out from the TV crowd.

There are a few episodes left that were already shot, but then the show will pass on. Meanwhile, we are inundated with highly popular drivel like copycat cop and courtroom dramas, sex-obsessed doctors and reality show whores who will go to any length and sacrifice every shred of dignity they or their family have to win a buck.

I'd have more in common living with wolves! That's ok. The folks who worked on this show made me laugh and cry and dazzled me with their creativity. If you're going to watch TV, what more could you ask for?

Senator Toe-Tapper: Judge Says No "Do-Overs" for Larry Craig

Remember ol' Sen. Larry Craig, the guy who claimed he was really minding his own business when that undercover cop "misinterpreted" his jovial toe-tapping in the airport bathroom stall for a request for hot gay sex? If you recall, he pled guilty before the news broke and then changed his mind when it looked like this would ruin his career.

Well a judge has said "no way" to Craig's request to withdraw his original plea of guilty. Which makes me so happy I could just wet my britches!

As I posted a while ago, I don't know what was going on in that bathroom stall, but it sure wasn't an innocent tap class. How stupid does Craig think we are?

A Celebration of Christmas Contradictions

Is it wrong or hypocritical for a professed pagan/non-theist to actually have fun with Christmas? My over-analytical self began to ask that very question yesterday, and it went something like this:

"You don't believe in Jesus anymore as the traditional God incarnate, so aren't you being hypocritical by celebrating his birth? Aren't you succumbing to the secularism that some say has infiltrated Christmas? If you were a good pagan, you'd be talking about Yule, Saturnalia or some other celebration! And if you really don't believe in any god at all, then why would you encourage the continued worship of anything?"

Guess I'm just a mess of contradictions, but I actually think it all makes sense. I'm a child of my time and culture, a middle-class WASP who grew up in the heavily religious American South in the mid- to late-20th century. So a big part of my life was Santa, Christmas trees and carols, angels announcing baby Jesus' birth in a manger and all that. Seeing as I still live here, it's hard to escape.

And I don't know that I want to escape completely. Regardless of whether I'm a Christian or not, regardless of whether I believe in any god or goddess or religion, there is a two-fold appeal for this holiday. One is all the wonderful memories in generates for me. I was fortunate to have a good childhood, and Christmas was part of that. I was never forced into Christianity but willingly embraced it, so the holiday is always a great indulgence in nostalgia.

Second, Christmas is fun! Holiday cookies and dinners, parties, presents, singing and decorations--what's not to love? And I don't think you have to be a Christian to appreciate that. There is joy simply in coming together with other people, in celebrating and even in spending lavishly simply for the opportunity to give. At this time of year, there is more of an emphasis on what we have in common and in helping those less fortunate.

So I don't have any gripe against the manger scene in the town square or the obligatory office holiday parties. I don't even care if my pagan beliefs or affinities are recognized. This is Christmas! And today, Christmas is really more of a secular holiday anyhow. Sure, it can be as religious as you want, and we can all argue all day about the pagan roots of Christmas and its traditions and which came first. But all that doesn't really matter. It is what it is. But you can celebrate Christmas without ever stepping inside a church or setting up a manger scene or singing "Oh Holy Night." Shopping, decorations, parties and such isn't specifically Christian, and yet even the overtly religious symbols have been absorbed into the mainstream culture. Devout Christians may have a point that this isn't very authentic or sincere, but there you have it. It's part of who we are as Americans.

Which, when you think about it, is a non-theistic approach. Maybe even a little pagan. And what's more pagan than the ability to simply enjoy a good party!? So, Merry Christmas, ya'll!

Holly, Jolly Holiday Post, Week 1: What Was Your Favorite Gift as a Child?

I've decided to help myself get in the holiday spirit by focusing on the good things about Christmas (or whatever you prefer to call it), those special memories and fun things I always try and squeeze in. After all, don't we have enough doom and gloom right now?

Like I did back on Halloween, I'm going to post at least 1 weekly item about the holiday, and I plan to keep it light and positive. I hope you'll all share your own stories and thoughts. Check out the sidebar to the right as well since I'll be adding some fun polls--like today's: Do you prefer white Christmas lights or the multicolored ones?

My Favorite Christmas Gift
This is difficult since I was a pretty good kid and Santa seemed to like me. Actually, my Mom rocked. She always came through on Christmas. My dad did, too, of course. He provided the cash, and Mom went shopping. She then played Santa while my Dad slept.

But my favorite gift? I guess I would pick 2 things, mostly because of how overjoyed I remember being when I spotted these gifts under the tree the next morning.

1. A train set with a locomotive that actually made real smoke! It came with a car that carried "gold" (yellow plastic beads), which you could load and unload.
2. ABBA's greatest hits album!
   

Ok, stop laughing. You have no idea how excited I was to get that ABBA album! And I played the hell out of it. Was there ever any doubt that I was gay?

The train set was a wonderful surprise, too. After Christmas, I moved it into my brother's old bedroom and added houses, trees and more train stuff over time. My friends and I had lots of fun with that. Which is weird really, because I wasn't all that into trains. Maybe I wanted one because my best friend had a train, but regardless, I had more fun with it than I ever expected.

So what were your favorite Christmas gifts? And if you didn't celebrate Christmas, then just share a favorite gift you received on your birthday or another holiday.

Saturday Odds & Ends: Family, Finances and Fa-La-La-La

Last night my partner and I went out with some good friends for dinner and then dessert at one couple's house. But I was as keyed up as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs! It's been a busy, stressful week, and then I had to rush home, change clothes, pick up one of our friends (who, God love her, talks too much) and then get to the restaurant.

Everyone else seemed able to decide what they wanted except me. The menu and choices completely overwhelmed me, and I found myself just sitting there staring at the menu wishing I were somewhere else. Merry Christmas!

Dinner and dessert was good, but I just never seemed to relax. I kept thinking about the layoffs and salary freeze at my office job. I kept thinking about how to find more freelance writing gigs and how to cut expenses at home. I kept thinking about how I really don't want to deck the halls at all this Christmas. Bah-humbug! My partner, of course, feels otherwise.

I'm willing to meet him halfway, however, so tomorrow we'll put up some decorations and mail Christmas cards. For the last couple of weeks, we've been doing ok, which is great. I was worried that things would spiral downward once we stopped going to counseling. Counseling was a big help, but we just couldn't afford it anymore.

Money, schmoney. Don't ever get seriously ill because it will suck up all the resources you have!

And adding to the stress, I found myself caught in the middle of an argument between one of my brothers and my father. I saw my father over Thanksgiving, and he bought my $6.95 barbecue dinner when we went out to eat. I've told him little about my financial troubles because I prefer to handle my own money woes--and he would hold it over my head if I borrowed money from him. So my brother apparently asked for a lot of money recently, and my dad said something about how he was helping me out and didn't have enough to spread around. But he hasn't given me anything but that dang barbecue dinner! So either he was just lying to my brother (which i don't like anyway) or he actually thinks $6.95 amounts to a federal bailout package (which he actually might). And if I try to find out what the real truth is, it will just cause more drama. So, fuck it.

I'm ready for a drink and a long nap!

The Winter of Our Collective Discontent?

Do you ever find yourself anticipating big trends or find yourself caught up in an emotional current that feels much larger than puny little you? I often have but never gave much thought as to why. But given my new spiritual direction, I'm paying more attention to these kinds of things, to what might be called instinct or even premonitions (although that sounds crazy, right?).

Here are some pics I took last Friday on a walk through the Grove. I walked farther and deeper than ever. My first impression was of how quickly the brilliant fall colors had faded to a monochromatic brownish gray. Sometimes it was difficult to even see the footpaths. The leaf-covered ground seemed to blend with the tree trunks, bare branches and woodsy thickets.

As I walked, melancholy descended and enveloped me, which is usually just the opposite of what happens when I'm out in nature. Typically, any melancholy disappears. But not this time.

Later that day and weekend, my mood deepened and intensified. Rather than try and shake the mood, I began paying more attention. What bubbled up was "suffering." I began to see it everywhere: in the news out of Haiti, India, Thailand and elsewhere; in reports about local charities unable to help the needy; in emails I received from friends asking for prayers and support for their friends, family and neighbors; in the death of a friend's favorite aunt from ALS; in the permanent changes I see in my partner because of his stoke; in another friend's terminal brain cancer; in the financial struggles of my cousin, my sister and brother; in the ongoing job losses in this country.

On and on it goes. And while these kinds of things happen all the time, it does seem particularly concentrated at the moment. There's physical suffering, lots of unexpected fear and insecurity, and great spiritual hunger. I don't know if any of you are experiencing these same emotions, but it's really sapping my own strength. Is it just good ol' "seasonal affective disorder?"

Some say that shamans are sensitive to such collective currents, and I think our country is obviously entering a new phase of sorts. Now, I hesitate to claim to "know" anything or to overstate my shamanic experiences or knowledge. But something's going on. I could feel it a few weeks back with Obama's election, and I think many others did, too. I felt it again with the rising anger and frustration in the LGBT community over Prop 8's passage in California. And I felt it this past weekend on my walk.

Just wanted to share this. I need to meditate on it and perhaps conduct a shamanic journey to see what I might learn from these emotions, this experience. In the meantime, I wish each and every one of you peace, contentment and strength.

Obama to Help Reunite and Strengthen Cuban Families By Easing U.S. Restrictions

This may be old news, but I was excited to read it. After about 50 years of restrictions that have done nothing to overthrow Cuba's Communist government, Obama has indicated he will reverse these measures and actually help families instead of adhering to some cold, dead policy.

The article says Obama will do away with restrictions on when and how often Cuban-Americans can return to the island to visit relatives as well as restrictions on sending cash to relatives. Otherwise, Obama appears to support the ridiculous U.S. embargo against Cuba, but at least this is a move in the right direction.

I support this change because it only hurts average Cuban families and does nothing to hurt the Castro government. Cuba is not a democracy where the population can put pressure on its leaders to do anything. They merely suffer under threat of imprisonment, violence or intimidation.

I have a friend whose adult daughter and grandchild still live in Cuba. She can't go back to visit nor can she respond to her daughter's letters with any financial assistance. My friend and her husband have done fairly well since coming to the U.S., but she still wishes to do what any mother would do and help her daughter and grandchild who remain in Cuba.

The U.S. needs to stop giving the Castros any ammunition for their assault on the Cuban people, and I hope Obama will do even more when he becomes president.

Where Have All the Homosexuals Gone?

What if gays just suddenly disappeared one day? Who would decorate the homes, cut and style hair and produce musicals? Oh, the horror! Conservatives might not think they'd miss us, but I bet they would. And so that's why LGBT activists have set December 10 (next Wednesday) as a "Day Without a Gay."

We're all being asked to call into work as "gay" and generally not spend any money to help send a message. I found this over at Queers United. Sort of like the "Day Without a Mexican" campaign I've heard about.

Fun idea--but not really practical or all that big a deal for me. Here's why. If I called in "gay" to any of my jobs, they would be most likely say either, "So?" or "Uh, yeah, we already know." And any work that didn't get done would only fall back into my lap the next day. At my office job, everyone is really great and accepting, so it would feel to me like I'm slapping them in the face over this. My co-workers are actually only a few folks, so I don't think it would make much of an impact. I feel I do more good by showing up and working hard. This is too much of a "Hey, look at me being oppressed!"

As far as not spending any money on 12/10, well, you know I love a good boycott. However, I don't have any money to spend! Lately, every day has been "day without a gay!" Others suggest spending money at gay-owned or gay-friendly businesses, which I like better. Still, I have no money to spend.

So, sorry my friends, I'll be sitting his one out. But I wish much success to anyone who participates, as i think it could make a difference in some circles. To learn more, click here.

"Prop 8: The Musical"

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A funny and theatrical look at Prop 8 and our current economic woes, by the same guy who brought us "Hairspray" and "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut." It neatly sums up the shock over Prop 8's passage and what might convince the conservatives that it was a mistake. All very tongue-in-cheek.

It also features celebs such as Neil Patrick Harris, Jack Black, Margaret Cho, John C. Reilly and others.

Marriage Equality for Gays: Where Does Your State Stand?

Post these helpful maps on your fridge! They show where gay marriage is currently permitted or banned, and which states have some other form of recognition on the books.

The first shows where marriages, civil unions or other domestic partnerships are honored. Looks like Iowa is the next battleground for marriage.
The second shows those states with anti-gay constitutional amendments or anti-gay laws.


And the last shows those states where, back in 1967, interracial marriage was against the law. Interesting comparison.
Find more info at Freedom to Marry.

Daily Distraction: Kris Kranz

This man is simply beautiful--and I'm completely distracted! He's model Kris Kranz, the new face for Italian clothing company Energie (some pretty cool stuff).

I'd buy anything Kris is selling! Follow this link for more photos of Kris to keep you distracted all day long.